TEAM

As I go through life, I have decided that I would rather not be loved, than be loved for someone that I am not.  I have sometimes been told that I am bold, some times abrupt.  Opinions of others have never bothered me.  Someone's opinion of me is their problem.  How I react or change my ways because of their opinion is my problem.  Once you figure this out, your relationships with others become stronger.  This does come with some discord.  In fact, I have severed relationships because to me, they are just not worth it.  And, if it is not worth it for me, it would also be in the best  interest for the other party to part ways.  In a relationship, whether it is biological or non-biological, I ask, what is in it for me?  This may sound selfish but let me explain.  I am not asking this question for material gain, I ask what is in it for me, from a spiritual or psychological perspective.  In other words is this person going to contribute to my spiritual or psychological growth?
 I am not a marriage counselor but it appears to me that, that is why a majority of relationships and marriages fail.  I have had several failed relationships in my life.  And, every time, not sometimes, but, emphatically, every time a relationship has not worked out it has been all, 100% my fault.  So to all of my past relationships, a quick shout out apology.  You see, I have failed in my self imposed golden rule to inquire about the spiritual or psychological aspects of the relationship.  Once I applied my golden rule and met  my wife, the mother of my 2 daughters, It truly was a life changer for both of us as a team.  On a spiritual and psychological level it was perfect.  We have heard in the past that once a couple marries that they become one.  Absolutely wrong!! Who ever said that is probably divorced.  The way I see it,  when you find "the one," you both become individually stronger not weaker.  Think about it, if you become one, what does that mean? That you both become 1/2 a person?  And, if you become one, who chooses?  You get my point.   There is nothing that 2 individuals on the same page, with the same or similar goals can not accomplish.  
 This self imposed golden rule does come with a cost.  That is that it applies to every relationship.  I have distanced myself from family members because of it.  Regardless of who it is.  If I feel the relationship drains all my energy or puts me in a negative frame of mind, I start questioning it and, if I am true to my word and apply my golden rule, I either terminate it completely or limit considerably any contact with that person.  Understand that sometimes a family member truly loves you or wants the best for you but in essence they are the ones that hold you back.  Parents, for example seem to be the ones that hold back their children.  Not necessarily because they do not love them but the opposite.  Because they don't want you to fail.  But, the fear of failure is the parent's fear, not the child's.  Most people are not enlightened so they see the world through the prism of doubt and fear.  So ultimately, you are the one that needs to decide whether to terminate that relationship or limit your contact with that parent or family member.  Now , I am not saying that we should all terminate our relationships with family member.  But, beware of the pitfalls.  Maybe at the minimum, do not discuss your goals and aspirations with them if they are not similar to yours.
 When you add the power of two individuals to a common goal, chances double that you will succeed.  It is common sense.  When 2 individuals physically lift an object, it is much easier that 1 individual alone doing all the lifting.  No different when 2 or more individuals have a common goal, it is much easier to accomplish and materialize what they want.  I call it TEAM -
-Together
-Every
-Asking
-Materializes; 
 I leave you with a quote on point by Henry Ford. "Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress.  Working together is success." 
      Just a thought 
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