RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships are something that I am an absolute expert in. That is because of my experience. You see, prior to my current relationship of which I am happily married for 15 years and counting, I had several failed relationships. I believe that enlightenment has played a huge factor in my happiness. I would like to put my relationships into two categories. The pre-enlightenment and the post-enlightenment categories. Let's begin with the pre-enlightenment category. In this category it was all about me. All about my happiness. I was selfish. When I look back at them, I can see now why they did not work. Those relationships were destined to fail. It was all, 100%, my fault. I truly own up to the disappointing outcomes. Now, for those who have read some of my previous articles, I do not live in the past. The way I look at my past is to acknowledge that it existed and move on. This part of the past is important so that it will assist me in not making the same mistakes. Or let's say so I don't have the same experiences. So when I look at my past relationships it is for a limited purpose. Remember I stated, I had several pre-enlightenment relations. To be specific, it was with different women; at different times of course and, I say women because I am not gay. However, the same applies to non-traditional couples. In fact, I have a gay friend who I describe as, "my brother from a different mother," who I have known for over 30 years. He is currently single but, when I decipher his previous relationships, the same issues apply. Looking back at these relationships, I was looking for happiness externally. I am here to tell you that if that is your position in a relationship, you will fail. No one will ever make you happy. You see, happiness comes from within. When I was in the, 'all about me," stage, I was unhappy or unsatisfied about myself so I looked beyond "me," or myself to fill in the gap. That is a huge mistake in a relationship because no one or thing can ever fill that need. I sometimes see couples who are going through problems resort to having children in the hopes that, that will fill in the gap. That just makes it worse because now you have children to deal with. The same problems exist but are now magnified with children. Some couples attempt marriage counseling for help and although, I am not discouraging it, because it can be beneficial to some, they are looking for something external to help them when in reality they have what they need within themselves to fix whatever problems they perceive to have. As an enlightened person who is spiritual and a true believer in the law of attraction and the power of your thoughts, connecting the dots backwards from where I currently am, I truly believe that I attracted my previous relationships because of who I was at that specific time.
Post-enlightenment is truly like night and day as it relates to my life, but in particular relationships. My wife is beautiful physically but more beautiful internally. I believe I attracted her as aforementioned because of the law of attraction and the universal powers to be, worked hand in hand to connect us. It was all put into motion, I believe, by the universal powers of which we are all part of. Once I figured out that I can live the life I want and that I can be in the relationship that I want, it was an awakening or as I prefer to describe it as enlightenment. It all started ironically with, "me," again! But the "me" part was an understanding that happiness starts from within. That it is internal not external as in my pre-enlightened days. Once I figured this out, my entire life changed. Once you understand this, all those so called problems that couples have in relationships are really not problems at all. You see problems really don't exist. What exist is experiences that will only make the relationships stronger as time goes by. You see, if you are truly happy with yourself, you then look at issues that arise in a relationship from a positive perspective instead of from a negative one which can be a relationship changer. I suggest if you are going through a bump on the road, look at all the pleasant times you had, have and will have. Now, I understand that for individuals that are not spiritual or enlightened it may be a challenge but it certainly is not impossible to do. To me a relationship is really not about give and take as we hear all the time it's more about being who you are. It is a team. Akin to two individuals on a canoe. You have to paddle in sync to get to your destination. I read somewhere that when two people get married they become one. I bet you that whoever wrote that is either divorced or has never been married. What that means is that they become a half. I hate to tell you but, I rather not lose half of anything. I prefer to see it as when two individuals marry they become stronger by adding one to become two. My wife always tells our daughters, which I believe to be fabulous advise, is that if a boyfriend one day tells them "you complete me" that they should dump them and run the other way! One will never be happy until they are complete in themselves. One other thing, every time I call my wife, I start the conversation off by stating, "is this the best women and mother in the whole universe." In the beginning she was shy in answering in the affirmative but not anymore. And, I truly mean it. She is the best women, wife and mother in the whole universe! Just like every one of your spouses should be. I leave you with a poem on point.
"Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want."
Harvey Specter
Just a thought.
Post-enlightenment is truly like night and day as it relates to my life, but in particular relationships. My wife is beautiful physically but more beautiful internally. I believe I attracted her as aforementioned because of the law of attraction and the universal powers to be, worked hand in hand to connect us. It was all put into motion, I believe, by the universal powers of which we are all part of. Once I figured out that I can live the life I want and that I can be in the relationship that I want, it was an awakening or as I prefer to describe it as enlightenment. It all started ironically with, "me," again! But the "me" part was an understanding that happiness starts from within. That it is internal not external as in my pre-enlightened days. Once I figured this out, my entire life changed. Once you understand this, all those so called problems that couples have in relationships are really not problems at all. You see problems really don't exist. What exist is experiences that will only make the relationships stronger as time goes by. You see, if you are truly happy with yourself, you then look at issues that arise in a relationship from a positive perspective instead of from a negative one which can be a relationship changer. I suggest if you are going through a bump on the road, look at all the pleasant times you had, have and will have. Now, I understand that for individuals that are not spiritual or enlightened it may be a challenge but it certainly is not impossible to do. To me a relationship is really not about give and take as we hear all the time it's more about being who you are. It is a team. Akin to two individuals on a canoe. You have to paddle in sync to get to your destination. I read somewhere that when two people get married they become one. I bet you that whoever wrote that is either divorced or has never been married. What that means is that they become a half. I hate to tell you but, I rather not lose half of anything. I prefer to see it as when two individuals marry they become stronger by adding one to become two. My wife always tells our daughters, which I believe to be fabulous advise, is that if a boyfriend one day tells them "you complete me" that they should dump them and run the other way! One will never be happy until they are complete in themselves. One other thing, every time I call my wife, I start the conversation off by stating, "is this the best women and mother in the whole universe." In the beginning she was shy in answering in the affirmative but not anymore. And, I truly mean it. She is the best women, wife and mother in the whole universe! Just like every one of your spouses should be. I leave you with a poem on point.
"Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want."
Harvey Specter
Just a thought.