PRENUPTIAL
A prospective client recently called me to ask for legal advice. She was planning on getting married, so she wanted my opinion on a prenuptial agreement. With the divorce rate in the United States in the 50-60%
range, it's no wonder why someone may want to inquire about a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. Prenuptial agreements vary from state to state so please understand that this article is not about giving legal advice on whether you should or should not enter into a prenuptial agreement. However, in general the purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to opt out of certain provisions that a couple would otherwise be entering into under the laws of their state, in the event that they are to divorce. It's a plan B. Back to my client. I gave her my opinion and legal advice of approximately 30 years of experience. So, after listening to her concerns regarding her assets that she wanted to protect with a prenuptial agreement, I asked her a simple question. A question that she probably never expected from an attorney. I know that to be true because there was complete silence before she responded. And, only responded when I inquired whether she was still on the phone or hung up on me and called another attorney who would have gladly told her what she wanted to hear. You see, I give prospective clients advise that I would give my own family. That is the way I treat people. At times my advice would be contrary to what most attorneys would do or say because it may not necessarily be what they want to hear and in return it would not be best for the attorney economically. But this isn't about me or my finances. It's about giving a client sound and genuine advice so that they can make a decision based on what's in their best interest. So, I asked her, "why are you getting married?" I followed it up with, "If you are contemplating a plan B, then, you're setting up your marriage for failure."
After, this phone call, I was taken back to my childhood. I used to look at things upside down. If I was watching television, I would put my feet up in the head rest of the couch and I would be facing the ceiling. I then would hang my head off the couch. In a way, a plan B is looking at things upside down. It makes no sense to me. It seems a plan B sets you up to quit. Therefore, you will not give it your all. How can you? You are contemplating failure from the beginning. I truly believe if you have your back against the wall with no other options you will succeed. Success does not come with a plan B. It's an all or nothing proposition. This concept to me is common sense. If you have a plan B, the first sign of adversity will probably lead you to quit. How can it not, you have another option with a plan B. You may have read the story of Herman Cortes. In 1519 he arrived in the New World with six hundred men and, upon arrival, made history by destroying his ships. This sent a clear message to his men, there is no turning back. No plan B! Two years later, he succeeded in his conquest of the Aztec empire. If there is no other choice, chances are you will succeed. You will do the best work when your back is up against the wall. However, most individuals would rather take the path of least resistance. That seems to be the way it is. The path of least resistance, to me, is looking at things upside down. It is having a plan B. A plan B is a precursor to failure. I live by a simple rule. When life takes me to a fork in the road, I will not go left or right but instead I make my own path by going straight up the middle. That is and always will be the way I choose to live. I leave you with a quote on point by Behdad Sami. "I never had a plan B. I feel if you have a plan B, you are giving yourself a chance to never accomplish plan A. My plan B was to accomplish plan A."
Just a thought.
range, it's no wonder why someone may want to inquire about a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. Prenuptial agreements vary from state to state so please understand that this article is not about giving legal advice on whether you should or should not enter into a prenuptial agreement. However, in general the purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to opt out of certain provisions that a couple would otherwise be entering into under the laws of their state, in the event that they are to divorce. It's a plan B. Back to my client. I gave her my opinion and legal advice of approximately 30 years of experience. So, after listening to her concerns regarding her assets that she wanted to protect with a prenuptial agreement, I asked her a simple question. A question that she probably never expected from an attorney. I know that to be true because there was complete silence before she responded. And, only responded when I inquired whether she was still on the phone or hung up on me and called another attorney who would have gladly told her what she wanted to hear. You see, I give prospective clients advise that I would give my own family. That is the way I treat people. At times my advice would be contrary to what most attorneys would do or say because it may not necessarily be what they want to hear and in return it would not be best for the attorney economically. But this isn't about me or my finances. It's about giving a client sound and genuine advice so that they can make a decision based on what's in their best interest. So, I asked her, "why are you getting married?" I followed it up with, "If you are contemplating a plan B, then, you're setting up your marriage for failure."
After, this phone call, I was taken back to my childhood. I used to look at things upside down. If I was watching television, I would put my feet up in the head rest of the couch and I would be facing the ceiling. I then would hang my head off the couch. In a way, a plan B is looking at things upside down. It makes no sense to me. It seems a plan B sets you up to quit. Therefore, you will not give it your all. How can you? You are contemplating failure from the beginning. I truly believe if you have your back against the wall with no other options you will succeed. Success does not come with a plan B. It's an all or nothing proposition. This concept to me is common sense. If you have a plan B, the first sign of adversity will probably lead you to quit. How can it not, you have another option with a plan B. You may have read the story of Herman Cortes. In 1519 he arrived in the New World with six hundred men and, upon arrival, made history by destroying his ships. This sent a clear message to his men, there is no turning back. No plan B! Two years later, he succeeded in his conquest of the Aztec empire. If there is no other choice, chances are you will succeed. You will do the best work when your back is up against the wall. However, most individuals would rather take the path of least resistance. That seems to be the way it is. The path of least resistance, to me, is looking at things upside down. It is having a plan B. A plan B is a precursor to failure. I live by a simple rule. When life takes me to a fork in the road, I will not go left or right but instead I make my own path by going straight up the middle. That is and always will be the way I choose to live. I leave you with a quote on point by Behdad Sami. "I never had a plan B. I feel if you have a plan B, you are giving yourself a chance to never accomplish plan A. My plan B was to accomplish plan A."
Just a thought.