JUDGMENTAL
I ran for judge several years ago. My wife and I were campaigning in downtown Columbus, Ohio and, an individual asked me if I was Judge Mental. I said no I am not Judge Mental and, left it at that. I need to fill you in on some information. At that time there was a political figure well known in Columbus with the last name Mentel. So, I assumed that he was referring to me being related to that political figure. Hence my quick response to him. However, my wife heard his question in a different way. She assumed he asked me if I was judgmental. When she told me about her assumption in a laughing manner, she followed it up with "of course you are judgmental, your running for judge!" That is what judges do, they pass judgment. It was funny and ironic looking back at the experience several years later. And, I was not elected in case you were wondering although, it was pretty close. But, no regrets because, I truly avoid being judgmental or Judge Mental. No pun intended.
Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. It is someone who forms many opinions. Usually harsh or critical ones. Wayne Dyer stated about opinions, "One of the highest places to get is being independent of the good opinions of other people." I have learned in life that many who are quick to form an opinion or cast harsh judgment are individuals who wish they were in your shoes. You see, when you get to a point in your life where you know that opinions are just that an opinion, then you have made it - you are on the road to success in any endeavor of your choosing. What others think about you is really none of your business. The only opinion that matters is what you think about yourself. If you lose sleep over the opinion of others, then perhaps, the problem lies with you, not the opinionated. By worrying about what others think about you, you are giving "others" power over you. I read a quote once where it said, "I used to care about what people thought about me until one day I tried to pay my bills with their opinion." Very funny but absolutely true.
Many individuals from family and friends ask me for my opinion on certain things. I believe that if you need someone else's approval, because that is what you are asking for when you ask for an opinion before making a decision, then, you should not do what ever it is you're contemplating. You are obviously not sure. So, the best thing to do is, not to do! You are not ready or it is not for you. Internally you know it is not your thing. That is why you need someone else's approval or opinion. If it is your bliss, you will know it. It can be selling ice cubes in a desert. If it is your calling, you'll know it. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart in 1964, when trying to explain hard core pornography or what is obscene material stated, "...I know it when I see it..." The same is true about your calling in life, with a slightly different spin, you'll know it when you feel it!! Independent of other's opinions. Just follow your heart. If your bliss is selling t-shirts on Fort Lauderdale beach, while wearing Birkenstock sandals and shorts or wearing thousand dollar suits working on Wall Street, just go for it. Growing up in government subsidized housing in New York City with the bare bone minimums in life that my parents provided would not have led me to be an attorney if I would have listened to the "so called good opinions of other." Unfortunately, that would also include the opinion of family members. And not because they did not love me. But, because they were not enlightened and had fears and doubts themselves. I believe, the best advise, you can give someone is very simple. Advise them to just do it! And, when they ask you, yes, but what do you think? My response is the same, Just do it. That is the only way to really know if it is the right decision. And, if it does not work out the way you planned it, you would have learned from the experience and you will never wonder or ask that horrible question in the future which is "I should have done..." The measure of success in life is what you define what success is. Not what others define for you. I leave you with the following poem;
"The moment you move into judgment
about something, all learning stops.
The moment you've made a judgment
you've locked yourself into a particular
position and you can't move beyond it. And when you can't move you can't grow."
Lynda Austin
Just a thought
Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. It is someone who forms many opinions. Usually harsh or critical ones. Wayne Dyer stated about opinions, "One of the highest places to get is being independent of the good opinions of other people." I have learned in life that many who are quick to form an opinion or cast harsh judgment are individuals who wish they were in your shoes. You see, when you get to a point in your life where you know that opinions are just that an opinion, then you have made it - you are on the road to success in any endeavor of your choosing. What others think about you is really none of your business. The only opinion that matters is what you think about yourself. If you lose sleep over the opinion of others, then perhaps, the problem lies with you, not the opinionated. By worrying about what others think about you, you are giving "others" power over you. I read a quote once where it said, "I used to care about what people thought about me until one day I tried to pay my bills with their opinion." Very funny but absolutely true.
Many individuals from family and friends ask me for my opinion on certain things. I believe that if you need someone else's approval, because that is what you are asking for when you ask for an opinion before making a decision, then, you should not do what ever it is you're contemplating. You are obviously not sure. So, the best thing to do is, not to do! You are not ready or it is not for you. Internally you know it is not your thing. That is why you need someone else's approval or opinion. If it is your bliss, you will know it. It can be selling ice cubes in a desert. If it is your calling, you'll know it. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart in 1964, when trying to explain hard core pornography or what is obscene material stated, "...I know it when I see it..." The same is true about your calling in life, with a slightly different spin, you'll know it when you feel it!! Independent of other's opinions. Just follow your heart. If your bliss is selling t-shirts on Fort Lauderdale beach, while wearing Birkenstock sandals and shorts or wearing thousand dollar suits working on Wall Street, just go for it. Growing up in government subsidized housing in New York City with the bare bone minimums in life that my parents provided would not have led me to be an attorney if I would have listened to the "so called good opinions of other." Unfortunately, that would also include the opinion of family members. And not because they did not love me. But, because they were not enlightened and had fears and doubts themselves. I believe, the best advise, you can give someone is very simple. Advise them to just do it! And, when they ask you, yes, but what do you think? My response is the same, Just do it. That is the only way to really know if it is the right decision. And, if it does not work out the way you planned it, you would have learned from the experience and you will never wonder or ask that horrible question in the future which is "I should have done..." The measure of success in life is what you define what success is. Not what others define for you. I leave you with the following poem;
"The moment you move into judgment
about something, all learning stops.
The moment you've made a judgment
you've locked yourself into a particular
position and you can't move beyond it. And when you can't move you can't grow."
Lynda Austin
Just a thought