CHILDREN
I love children! This is an understatement!! I have six; four girls and two boys. One of the best songs ever composed about children is, "The Greatest Love of All," by George Benson in 1977 and performed by Whitney Houston. Part of the lyrics in this masterpiece are, "I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside, give them a sense of pride to make it easier, let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be..." I am not a child psychologist, but I am an expert in child rearing, just as all parents should be. I also want to preface this article by saying that all parents have their own rules or opinions when it comes to "their" children. My writing on this topic is my opinion. I am not here to judge other parent's opinions about children in any way. I am not the rule on the topic of children. So, with that said, I believe some parents feel that their children are theirs. That they own them. At least until they become adults. Why not take this approach? After all parents do have a legal obligation to support their children. They must treat them humanly. Parents are responsible for their children's well being, psychologically and physically. With all that said, parents do not own their children. The children come through them into this world but they are not property of anyone. This is hard to understand at times. The way I see it, I am a coach for my children. I have been given, probably the most important privilege and honor imaginable, to be a parent. To be another human being's head coach and mentor in all aspects of life. I cannot fathom a more important role in life.
We are all children. We want to be respected and treated accordingly. We want to explore and learn. We answer to our soul's desires when we use our sense of adventure. Life is a never ending learning and growing adventure. We are an extension of the little children and they of us. A rule of thumb that many parents apply is, "do as I say, not as I do." This is hypocritical. It would be akin to me, writing about loving my kids but being charged with neglecting my children by Children Services. Great coaches lead through examples and parents are no different. Children are similar to sponges. They look up to us. Everything we say or do they absorb. They are the future generation of leaders, parents etc... If we do not let them explore, we are stunting their mental growth. I understand that sometimes parents "get in the way," because we love our children. We don't want children to push the envelope too much because we as parents have fears; but, children are fearless. We see on a daily basis the extreme cases when parents are breathing all over their children. They are what has been called, helicopter parents because they constantly hover over their children.
I bet we have also seen parents embarrass their children by calling them names. I believe one of the worse things a parent can do to their children is to tell them that an idea that they may have makes no sense or is stupid. Just remember when we were little children, I say little children, because I believe as I stated earlier that we are all children regardless of age. We had a vivid imagination. Then we grew up and arrested our imagination and replaced it with fear and doubt. Let them use their imagination. They have unlimited potential. I remember reading about Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's, when he was a little child, all he wanted to do was flip burgers. Can you imagine, no pun intended, if his parents discouraged him by saying, "that is nonsense son, you want to be a doctor or a lawyer." Luckily for the hamburger eating members of society he followed his imagination and dream. And, just look at the outcome. It was Einstein who said, " Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." He also stated, "If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairytales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairytales." Let's not let love be an excuse to prevent our children from accomplishing whatever it is they want to accomplish, free of parental pressure to do otherwise. I understand that because parents want their children to succeed that they may want them to follow in their footsteps especially if the parents have been successful. However, a child has his own soul and desires. A child is the master of his ship. Let them be who they want to be. Not who we want them to be. I leave you with a poem on point.
"I would hold your hand every minute of every day, but I won't because I know you need to find your own way."
Jayne
Just a thought.
We are all children. We want to be respected and treated accordingly. We want to explore and learn. We answer to our soul's desires when we use our sense of adventure. Life is a never ending learning and growing adventure. We are an extension of the little children and they of us. A rule of thumb that many parents apply is, "do as I say, not as I do." This is hypocritical. It would be akin to me, writing about loving my kids but being charged with neglecting my children by Children Services. Great coaches lead through examples and parents are no different. Children are similar to sponges. They look up to us. Everything we say or do they absorb. They are the future generation of leaders, parents etc... If we do not let them explore, we are stunting their mental growth. I understand that sometimes parents "get in the way," because we love our children. We don't want children to push the envelope too much because we as parents have fears; but, children are fearless. We see on a daily basis the extreme cases when parents are breathing all over their children. They are what has been called, helicopter parents because they constantly hover over their children.
I bet we have also seen parents embarrass their children by calling them names. I believe one of the worse things a parent can do to their children is to tell them that an idea that they may have makes no sense or is stupid. Just remember when we were little children, I say little children, because I believe as I stated earlier that we are all children regardless of age. We had a vivid imagination. Then we grew up and arrested our imagination and replaced it with fear and doubt. Let them use their imagination. They have unlimited potential. I remember reading about Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's, when he was a little child, all he wanted to do was flip burgers. Can you imagine, no pun intended, if his parents discouraged him by saying, "that is nonsense son, you want to be a doctor or a lawyer." Luckily for the hamburger eating members of society he followed his imagination and dream. And, just look at the outcome. It was Einstein who said, " Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." He also stated, "If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairytales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairytales." Let's not let love be an excuse to prevent our children from accomplishing whatever it is they want to accomplish, free of parental pressure to do otherwise. I understand that because parents want their children to succeed that they may want them to follow in their footsteps especially if the parents have been successful. However, a child has his own soul and desires. A child is the master of his ship. Let them be who they want to be. Not who we want them to be. I leave you with a poem on point.
"I would hold your hand every minute of every day, but I won't because I know you need to find your own way."
Jayne
Just a thought.