BLAME

It is so much easier to blame others for our lack of success.  Unfortunately, it is built into our DNA.  Young ones are taught in school this concept.  When colleges and universities need to create safe spaces for their students, what is the real message they are putting out?  It is pretty clear to me.  Instead of assisting students to open up their minds and listen to opposing views, schools are teaching them that they don't have to listen to opposing views that may get them upset.  Schools in essence are saying, let's blame the person with the opposing view for you being upset.  Instead of teaching and coaching them to listen to other views which is instrumental in learning, maturing and growing.  Blaming others seems to be something our current society supports.  Politicians use the blame game all the time to get elected or re-elected.  Democrats blame the republicans for all the ills in society.  Republican return the favor blaming in-kind.  Many individuals blame politicians for all of society's problems.  However, they forget that they are the ones that voted for them.  Some individuals will blame their race, gender, physical attributes, sextual orientation, their parents, their upbringing, their speech impediment, their height and everything else they can think of.
 When things are going great, we want to take all the credit.  When things don't go as planned it's someone else's fault.  So why do people blame others.  It is easy!  If we blame others, it takes responsibility and accountability off our shoulders.  In my practice as a criminal defense attorney, when I represent a client in a domestic violence  accusation, one of  the most common excuses for this unacceptable behavior is that, the victim caused it because of their behavior. I cannot even begin to comprehend that logic because reacting with violence is never acceptable.  In addition, no one can ever make you do anything.  I get it.  Prior to my enlightenment, and when I was in my 20's, I blamed my mother for everything I perceived negative in my life.  My family was dysfunctional.  My upbringing gave me a view of relationships that was not healthy.  I had a lousy relationship with my mother and I was always angry.  One day I just had a surreal encounter with myself.  I broke it down to two choices;  either continue living my life constantly blaming  her for everything that I perceived negative or; let all the anger go, stop judging her and come to the realization that I am in control of my life.  I chose the latter.  I can tell you from experience that my life since then has been wonderful.  My life became easier.  Easier than the erroneous notion that life is easier if you blame other.  I can tell you there was no comparison.  
 I have learned that blaming others does nothing for your personal well being and spiritual growth.  It may feel uplifting and comforting but the pain and suffering it will cost you in the long run can be debilitating, physically and emotionally.  Blaming others can have long term negative consequences.  Think about this, by blaming others you lose total control of your life because you are saying that you do not have the power to change your life.  This is so contrary to the laws of nature.  We all have the power to change.  Not only do we have this immense power but, we have an obligation to use it to change any condition that we want.  To think otherwise is to allow others to have power and control over you.  Some call me strange because I am a free thinker and I don't care what others think or say about me.  I believe in the freedom and power of  the soul.  I have faith in the individual's spirit to create a life of their choosing.  By blaming others you submit to the control of others for your existence.  I cannot think of a more miserable way to live.  Remember the words of Patrick Henry in St John's Church in Richmond, Virginia where he stated, " I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"  He was referring to war against the British.  However, the essence of his statement can be applied to the blame game.  I leave you with a quote on blame;
 "When you blame others' you give up your power to change."
        Dr. Robert Anthony
     Just a thought.
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