APOLOGY
In my opinion, an apology is a litigation destroyer. In other words, I believe the majority of litigation can be avoided with a sincere apology. I now am convinced that in the legal profession if a mistake is made, that attorneys are trained to not admit it because it can only increase the potential that the grieved party will maximize their recovery whether it's a client or the attorney that made a mistake. This is why, as I connect the dots backwards in my legal career from law school to the present, or I should say from the present to law school, why the word apology is not mentioned in law school or in settlement discussions. You see, it's an adversarial profession. Attorneys get rich off of other people's mistakes. There is no room for an apology. Think about it for a moment, if a simple thing as an apology can reduce litigation, who stands to lose the most? You guessed it. Attorneys!!
Apology is defined as a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure. A sincere apology begets blame upon the apologetic. Attorney's have inflated ego's to begin with so maybe that is why an apology is not part of the lawyering profession but for one exception. In the practice of criminal law, prior to the sentencing of the defendant, attorneys encourage the defendant to apologize to their victim and the court but, that's not really an apology, that's a way of attempting to reduce the jail time the judge can impose. As aforementioned, aside from the area of criminal law, apologies are rare in the legal profession. It brings to mind the lyrics to the song, "Sorry, blame it on me," by Akon. He goes on to say, " As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility, I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me..." So you would believe he truly is accepting blame but as the song continues, you realize he could have been an attorney because be pretends to apologize and accept blame but not really. He continues in part to say, "...I'm sorry that it took so long to see why they were dead wrong trying to put it on me. I'm sorry that it took so long to speak, I was on tour with Gwen Stefani. I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt, for the embarrassment that she felt, just a little young girl trying to have fun, her daddy should never let her out so young. I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down, I hope they manage better next time around. How was I to know she was underage in a 21 and older club they say..." I guess you get my point.
Back to an apology, I have numerous examples on how a sincere apology is all the grieved party wanted instead of a law suit. One that will always stick out in my mind was a a malpractice case against an OBGYN doctor where the baby died in the course of the delivery. When the doctor was deposed for questioning prior to trial, it was very tense in the room. At one point, the mother of the deceased baby stated, after the doctor said that he is not in the business of killing babies, "all I wanted was an apology!" What followed, I rarely see in a deposition. Everyone was in tears. Myself included. She continued to say that she would have never sued, if the doctor would have apologized for her loss. If only they would teach that in law school. Oh! Never mind! You see, they can't because it's an adversarial profession and, lawyers need to payoff their student loans. More recently, I discovered and attorney who made not just one mistake but several in the course of representing his client. Instead of apologizing and fixing the mistakes, he dug in and seems to be heading towards a malpractice claim. I am sure that lawyers are not the only ones with inflated egos. I feel I have the experience and obligation to speak out because I am one. I can understand why it is hard for an attorney to apologize; however that does not make it acceptable. That's because an admission that they made a mistake and an apology can be viewed as negative. But, in reality I believe it is a positive and it will build trust in the attorney, client relationship.
Nobody is perfect. You will never get perfect. Life is not perfect. Regardless of what we do, you will never get perfect. You don't need higher education to understand that an apology can go a long way. And if the person that the apology is directed at does not accept it, so what. It will be healing for you. You can control your behavior but, you will never control anyone else's reaction nor do you want to. I really believe that if you do the right thing after making a mistake, that only good things can happen. The right thing is to apologize and start the healing, "Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past." Tryon Edwards.
Just a thought.
Apology is defined as a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure. A sincere apology begets blame upon the apologetic. Attorney's have inflated ego's to begin with so maybe that is why an apology is not part of the lawyering profession but for one exception. In the practice of criminal law, prior to the sentencing of the defendant, attorneys encourage the defendant to apologize to their victim and the court but, that's not really an apology, that's a way of attempting to reduce the jail time the judge can impose. As aforementioned, aside from the area of criminal law, apologies are rare in the legal profession. It brings to mind the lyrics to the song, "Sorry, blame it on me," by Akon. He goes on to say, " As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility, I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me..." So you would believe he truly is accepting blame but as the song continues, you realize he could have been an attorney because be pretends to apologize and accept blame but not really. He continues in part to say, "...I'm sorry that it took so long to see why they were dead wrong trying to put it on me. I'm sorry that it took so long to speak, I was on tour with Gwen Stefani. I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt, for the embarrassment that she felt, just a little young girl trying to have fun, her daddy should never let her out so young. I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down, I hope they manage better next time around. How was I to know she was underage in a 21 and older club they say..." I guess you get my point.
Back to an apology, I have numerous examples on how a sincere apology is all the grieved party wanted instead of a law suit. One that will always stick out in my mind was a a malpractice case against an OBGYN doctor where the baby died in the course of the delivery. When the doctor was deposed for questioning prior to trial, it was very tense in the room. At one point, the mother of the deceased baby stated, after the doctor said that he is not in the business of killing babies, "all I wanted was an apology!" What followed, I rarely see in a deposition. Everyone was in tears. Myself included. She continued to say that she would have never sued, if the doctor would have apologized for her loss. If only they would teach that in law school. Oh! Never mind! You see, they can't because it's an adversarial profession and, lawyers need to payoff their student loans. More recently, I discovered and attorney who made not just one mistake but several in the course of representing his client. Instead of apologizing and fixing the mistakes, he dug in and seems to be heading towards a malpractice claim. I am sure that lawyers are not the only ones with inflated egos. I feel I have the experience and obligation to speak out because I am one. I can understand why it is hard for an attorney to apologize; however that does not make it acceptable. That's because an admission that they made a mistake and an apology can be viewed as negative. But, in reality I believe it is a positive and it will build trust in the attorney, client relationship.
Nobody is perfect. You will never get perfect. Life is not perfect. Regardless of what we do, you will never get perfect. You don't need higher education to understand that an apology can go a long way. And if the person that the apology is directed at does not accept it, so what. It will be healing for you. You can control your behavior but, you will never control anyone else's reaction nor do you want to. I really believe that if you do the right thing after making a mistake, that only good things can happen. The right thing is to apologize and start the healing, "Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past." Tryon Edwards.
Just a thought.