JAY'S SONG
A song is a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung. Songs, move me and penetrate the fabric of my feelings to where it raises my energy level to another dimension. This is not necessarily unique to me as I believe songs can move individuals in many ways. So therefore, I decided to write my own song, hence the title of my article. However, I must first worn you that I am not a musically inclined person by choice so, the song that I am writing is my attempt to capture the same level of increased energy as aforementioned. I have concluded that my children are what inspires me and that they raise my energy level and move me closer to my spiritual component of who I am. So this is not a song in the traditional sense but, very much so in a spiritual way. If and when my children read this article, they will have an idea of my spiritual connection to them, especially when I have left this phase of my evolution. I am hoping that, as it is true with a song and, the connection to a time or place, that my song or better described as, my article, will someday be a source of inspiration to someone who reads it. Moreover, those who know me, know that there is nothing traditional about me or my life. My writings are not meant to sell a point of view or to convince the reader to move in a certain direction. I believe that is contrary to my deeply held spiritual beliefs about not interfering with individual freedoms and their natural evolution. So here we go!
Jay's song is dedicated to all 6 of my children. As most parents know, their love of their children is unconditional. As I see it, this love is absolute. There is not much more to say about this point. As far as my children, I will start in the order of birth. My first born children are identical twin girls. As of this writing they are 25 years old. The very first one to exit the mother's womb I nicknamed "Buddha Belly." For anyone who is familiar with Buddha, he is portrayed with a fat belly. That is because it represented abundance and is included among the seven lucky gods of Japan as a harbinger of abundance and good health. This perfectly describes my daughter. Since she was born thicker than her twin sister, I created a fictional story that I would tell her that I witnessed her in her mom's belly by means of an ultrasound, as she would elbow her sister in order to eat the food that was floating around in the embryonic sac. My other twin I nicknames, "Jelly Belly," because she was smaller and longer. Regardless of their nicknames, they both are pure bundles of love. Although, we have been estranged for many years, I can confirm that pure, unconditional love is never compromised. I can honestly tell you that I feel their love in my heart and I can only imagine that it's mutual. I remember in the 1990 romance/fantasy movie, Ghost, when Sam Wheat, played by Patrick Swayze, was murdered and he returns as a ghost to protect his girlfriend, Molly Jensen played by Demi Moore. In a scene where he is about to finally say good-bye to her, he tells her as he is describing his love for her, "It's amazing Molly. The love inside you, you take it with you. See ya." That is the type of love I am referring to when it comes to my children. True, pure unconditional love will always remain in your soul regardless of whether you are physically together. It is inseverable.
My next 2 children are my sons who as of this writing are 22 and 20 years old. Although, I was not able to have an unfettered father/son relationship with them when they were very little, the aforementioned love is the same. My older son has an incredible loving heart with an extremely protective and paternalistic heart towards his family and friends. He is full of energy and adventure. He inspires others by living a full life without self imposed fears or doubts. There is a sense of relief in knowing that he will succeed in whatever he focuses on in life. He uses the first born male against his siblings in an endearing way. My 20 year old son is a spiritually connected loving being. He is well balanced. Whoever is fortunate to be in his presence, can feel his loving, sincere energy. He is energy driven. There is no doubt in my mind that he too will succeed in any life endeavors of his choosing.
My next two children are girls who as of this writing are 12 and 11 years old. When my 12 year old was born, I remember a sense of euphoria. It was my wife's first born child. I say this because there is a back story. As a first born child for a women, research shows that there is a 15-16 percent chance the child will be born late, compared with a 9-10 percent chance for other babies. I always wanted a valentine girl. My wife and I were sure we were having a girl but that was just half of the equation for me. I remember telling my wife's OB-GYN that my daughter was going to be born on valentine's day. He obviously thought I was nuts because in order for that to happen, my daughter would have to be born approximately 6 weeks prior to her due date. In addition, it was my wife's first child as aforementioned. Well, my daughter was born on Valentine's day end of story! She also happens to be very spiritual and intuitive. Just like her papa!! My 11 year old, is the most outward, loving, cuddly human being I have ever met. She requires cuddles and necessitates close contact with her mother and myself. This is probably because she was a colic baby so she slept on her mother's belly for one full year after she came out of the womb. So she went from sleeping inside the belly to sleeping on top of her mothers belly. How cool is that? Especially since it wasn't my belly she was sleeping on. Humor but true!! The irony is that if you take a good look at her and get to know her, she is the type of girl that will kick your ass if you mess with her. I feel confident that I will not need to chaperone her through out her future dating encounters.
I understand why parents in the past may have put conditions on their love toward their children. It was a way to maintain control, foster conformity and maybe instill certain values and belief's held by parents and society at large. I am not judging or saying that I am the know it all on parenting. That is not the purpose of this article. I believe each parent is their own expert on how to parent. And remember that in the beginning of this writing I said I am not a traditional person so, my parenting style is just that, my parenting style. I also believe that a common belief amongst parents are that the children owe their parents something. That something can be to care for the parents in old age. To me that is a selfish way of living. And a profound expectation put on children. I hate to say this but children do not owe their parents anything. However, the opposite is true. Parents owe their children everything. Parents must financially support their children. Parents must care for the well being of their children. Parents must coach and guide their children. Parents have an obligation to provide an environment to assist the child to become a contributing member of society, etc... Children are not property of the parents. They came through us but not necessarily from us or for us. I think once we understand this, parenting becomes easier. It is a privilege and an honor to be a parent not a requirement. When I say I love my children, it almost cheapens it because words will never capture what I feel towards them. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful and fortunate to be called dad. So there you have it. This is my song. Jay's song!!
Just a thought.
Jay's song is dedicated to all 6 of my children. As most parents know, their love of their children is unconditional. As I see it, this love is absolute. There is not much more to say about this point. As far as my children, I will start in the order of birth. My first born children are identical twin girls. As of this writing they are 25 years old. The very first one to exit the mother's womb I nicknamed "Buddha Belly." For anyone who is familiar with Buddha, he is portrayed with a fat belly. That is because it represented abundance and is included among the seven lucky gods of Japan as a harbinger of abundance and good health. This perfectly describes my daughter. Since she was born thicker than her twin sister, I created a fictional story that I would tell her that I witnessed her in her mom's belly by means of an ultrasound, as she would elbow her sister in order to eat the food that was floating around in the embryonic sac. My other twin I nicknames, "Jelly Belly," because she was smaller and longer. Regardless of their nicknames, they both are pure bundles of love. Although, we have been estranged for many years, I can confirm that pure, unconditional love is never compromised. I can honestly tell you that I feel their love in my heart and I can only imagine that it's mutual. I remember in the 1990 romance/fantasy movie, Ghost, when Sam Wheat, played by Patrick Swayze, was murdered and he returns as a ghost to protect his girlfriend, Molly Jensen played by Demi Moore. In a scene where he is about to finally say good-bye to her, he tells her as he is describing his love for her, "It's amazing Molly. The love inside you, you take it with you. See ya." That is the type of love I am referring to when it comes to my children. True, pure unconditional love will always remain in your soul regardless of whether you are physically together. It is inseverable.
My next 2 children are my sons who as of this writing are 22 and 20 years old. Although, I was not able to have an unfettered father/son relationship with them when they were very little, the aforementioned love is the same. My older son has an incredible loving heart with an extremely protective and paternalistic heart towards his family and friends. He is full of energy and adventure. He inspires others by living a full life without self imposed fears or doubts. There is a sense of relief in knowing that he will succeed in whatever he focuses on in life. He uses the first born male against his siblings in an endearing way. My 20 year old son is a spiritually connected loving being. He is well balanced. Whoever is fortunate to be in his presence, can feel his loving, sincere energy. He is energy driven. There is no doubt in my mind that he too will succeed in any life endeavors of his choosing.
My next two children are girls who as of this writing are 12 and 11 years old. When my 12 year old was born, I remember a sense of euphoria. It was my wife's first born child. I say this because there is a back story. As a first born child for a women, research shows that there is a 15-16 percent chance the child will be born late, compared with a 9-10 percent chance for other babies. I always wanted a valentine girl. My wife and I were sure we were having a girl but that was just half of the equation for me. I remember telling my wife's OB-GYN that my daughter was going to be born on valentine's day. He obviously thought I was nuts because in order for that to happen, my daughter would have to be born approximately 6 weeks prior to her due date. In addition, it was my wife's first child as aforementioned. Well, my daughter was born on Valentine's day end of story! She also happens to be very spiritual and intuitive. Just like her papa!! My 11 year old, is the most outward, loving, cuddly human being I have ever met. She requires cuddles and necessitates close contact with her mother and myself. This is probably because she was a colic baby so she slept on her mother's belly for one full year after she came out of the womb. So she went from sleeping inside the belly to sleeping on top of her mothers belly. How cool is that? Especially since it wasn't my belly she was sleeping on. Humor but true!! The irony is that if you take a good look at her and get to know her, she is the type of girl that will kick your ass if you mess with her. I feel confident that I will not need to chaperone her through out her future dating encounters.
I understand why parents in the past may have put conditions on their love toward their children. It was a way to maintain control, foster conformity and maybe instill certain values and belief's held by parents and society at large. I am not judging or saying that I am the know it all on parenting. That is not the purpose of this article. I believe each parent is their own expert on how to parent. And remember that in the beginning of this writing I said I am not a traditional person so, my parenting style is just that, my parenting style. I also believe that a common belief amongst parents are that the children owe their parents something. That something can be to care for the parents in old age. To me that is a selfish way of living. And a profound expectation put on children. I hate to say this but children do not owe their parents anything. However, the opposite is true. Parents owe their children everything. Parents must financially support their children. Parents must care for the well being of their children. Parents must coach and guide their children. Parents have an obligation to provide an environment to assist the child to become a contributing member of society, etc... Children are not property of the parents. They came through us but not necessarily from us or for us. I think once we understand this, parenting becomes easier. It is a privilege and an honor to be a parent not a requirement. When I say I love my children, it almost cheapens it because words will never capture what I feel towards them. All I can say is that I am extremely grateful and fortunate to be called dad. So there you have it. This is my song. Jay's song!!
Just a thought.